Having spent year working with women and couples to understand and chart their fertility, there was a reoccurring theme to the tune of “why didn’t anyone tell me….” So many women were not given the information that they needed to navigate their health, cycles, and relationships fully informed. They shared that there was so much they wished they had been taught sooner so that they had been better to prepared to navigate difficult situations.
The women and couples I worked with came from varying faith backgrounds. You might think that Catholics might be better prepared with cycle and fertility knowledge, since we are asked to use natural means (fertility awareness) to plan our families and space our pregnancies. And in some cases they are better prepared. Many at least recognize that knowing your fertility is a way to plan your family, but even among Catholics there are often gaps need filling in.
My husband and I recently had an opportunity to do marriage prep sessions with a young couple. They wanted to learn NFP and had an online class ready to go, but that they were planning on starting it later. When I asked what their achieving/avoiding intentions were, they shared that they strongly wanted to avoid pregnancy for a time - and they were 2 months out from their wedding. I encouraged them to begin their NFP class ASAP because there can be a lot to learn about your unique patterns and cycles of fertility when you are just beginning to track, and it can take time to sort it all out and gain confidence.
We do women a disservice when we leave all cycle charting until right before marriage. There are a number of reasons we should teach this information sooner. Medical irregularities may appear in charts - and seeing this for the first time when you are months away from your wedding can be jarring or full on anxiety producing during an already busy and intense time. During dating and engagement, wouldn’t it be helpful for young women to understand their cycles of hormones and pheromones and how they impact their interest in physical intimacy? Furthermore, there is something to be said about the value of learning to read your body and cycle in at a more relaxed pace, giving the process more time and attention, because you are not, in the near future, trying to either avoid or achieve pregnancy, or planning for a wedding with one more “to do” on your list.
Even women who will not choose to use a natural, fertility based method to plan their families, or may not get married, should know this basic information about themselves and their design. Why? Because it impacts their emotional and physical wellbeing.
Here are 3 critical things we should be teaching young women:
To learn and interpret their cycle and hormonal patterns. Where we are in our cycle impacts us in so many ways - mood, energy, interest, etc. and that they can learn to identify these times and plan for the by teaching them:
The different options available to track and chart their cycles - BBT, LH strips, mucus; And also what to look for in a cycle tracking app, and what to avoid (because it will may lead them astray)
Signs of healthy cycles and what to do if you notice irregularities - how to find a medical professional who is knowledgeable about root cause treatments and the value of natural cycles
Let’s work together to create change - to give our daughters and sisters what they need to navigate important and sometimes difficult decisions and situations. Simple, intentional conversations can serve as a great start, particularly if the older woman has confidence in approaching these topics, but if you don’t feel prepared to confidently approach these topics, I have create an online class that teaches these topics, and more! You can get all of the details on the “Intros & Classes“ page.
This class is not method or avoiding/achieving specific, but is designed to provide a solid foundation to help the women understand their cycles and patterns, monitor their health, and prepare them to select and successfully use a method of NFP in the future (if they are led to do so). It is geared toward women who are college aged of in their 20s. This version is Catholic specific, but we would like to offer other versions in the future, so sign up for our updates below so you will be notified.
In addition to this class, I know there are other great resources out there, so please, share them below! And if you are trying to teach your daughter this information on your own, what has been your biggest challenge and/or your greatest success?